Sense and Sensibility – MISS MARCHMONT

12 Aug

M/f; time: 15 minutes

If the Jane Austen novel had included a good bare bottom birching like this film does, we could have finished the book. Blond actress Lucy Bailey, credited here as both the writer and the director, as well as the main event, plays a fully-attired Victorian maid. The action is filmed outdoors in the gardens of a palatial British estate, whose owner is acknowledged in the credits.

Lucy, as ‘Evans,’ has been reported by other staff for continuing violations. She reports to the manor lord, the head-shaven virile actor seen in other institutional and military roles (‘Prison Canings,’ et al) in Miss Marchmont. He can scorch a bottom. Evans is ordered to prepare her own birch bundle from the garden–we see her in the kitchen carefully taping together a fearsome collection.

Evans reports to the lawn, while the lord is entertaining guests at tea. He steps away; Evans bends over a huge urn; the loard flips up her voluminous skirt and petticoats and opens her bloomers to bare her buttocks.

As the tea party guests watch from a respectful distance, the lord birches the bejesus out of Evans’ bare bottom, the only flesh peeking from the Victorian folds. The action is filmed from several obliques, directly on her rear, some facial, and from the tea party view. The birches splinter and fray in the fury. When Evans pleads, “It won’t happen again, sir,” the lord is infuriated with this perpetual excuse and lays on a rapid-fire series quite unlike any birching we can recall.

The birching is so conclusive that the film’s length is immaterial. Evans is let up and made to collect the birch fragments on her hands and knees while the lord returns to his guests. All in a day’s work we guess–feed the animals, pour tea with guests, spank a maid’s bare bottom.

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